I saw a quote on twitter the other day:
"You're killing yourself for a job that would replace you within a week if you dropped dead. Take care of yourself."
Wow, did that quote strike a note with me! It's ingrained in me to work hard. My mother is a hard worker, always has been and always will be. Her biggest struggle with aging is having to slow down. My Dad was a hard worker, but he knew how to relax and was not afraid to speak up when he needed a break. My mom would just go and go and get upset and angry when she was worn out.
As an insurance defense lawyer, my job is based on billable hours. The more hours I bill the more successful I am in my position. Working and billing clients makes money for the firm and is the main evaluation tool used by the firm. (but not really because the firm doesn't do performance evaluations. Generally, the partners will look at the billable hours spreadsheet at the end of the year and complain about the lack of hours- mostly from the partners themselves. Anyways.) Most insurance defense firms encourage long hours and weekend work.
Over the last few years I have been trying to back off at work and do less. I've been so busy this year that backing off hasn't gone well. Nevertheless, I've still found a few ways to stop taking on so much at work:
1. I told my boss I'm busy and I can't take on any new projects. That worked for a limited time, until he decided to drop some work on me that he didn't want to do!
2. I refuse to answer phones and greet guests at the front door when all of the support staff leaves early, calls in sick or is working from home.
3. I'm trying to not come in as early.
4. I've stopped putting the burden on myself to save the firm money. If it's better for my health to stay overnight at a hotel, then I do that. Even if the hotel charges will not be reimbursed by the client. No more 18/19 hour days for me.
It's taken a long time, but I've recognized that my job is simply a job. I replaced someone else who worked there and, at some point, someone else will replace me. I've worked at other places, in other jobs and when I quit I was replaced. I'm not so invaluable that I cannot be replaced by another lawyer. Balance is a must in the workforce.
It's ingrained in women to feel responsible for everything. You shouldn't be responsible for phones on top of everything else! I'm glad you're drawing a line.
ReplyDeleteIt is truly the only way to get through the day. It's hard to have so many responsibilities.
DeleteThis is so hard but you are so right. My job would replace me without much thought. I need to be better about taking it all in with stride. Great post.
ReplyDeleteIt's really striking how true that quote is!! We all have to remember to take a breathe and say "no" sometimes.
DeleteIt is a sobering recognition, but yes, you are right. I have the same drive only it is my business! LOL I still need to learn balance - it is a slippery slope.
ReplyDeleteI think it is better when it's your own business because at least you are working to build something for you. However, yes balance is essential because there is a lot more to life than work!
Deletethis is so true! I have always gone above and beyond at work and I end up paying for it with my health. After a year off last year I'm really trying to keep it in perspective and not take on so much as I usually do. as you say, they just get someone else once we leave - we're not irreplaceable.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to NOT take on more responsibility. I always want to do more too. I want to succeed, do well and expand. Finding balance is easier said than done. It must be hard to take a year off and then go back to work.
DeleteGood for you! Yes, and very true. Every minute of uncompensated labor you provide equates to a pay cut overall. 18-19 hours days is insane! Granted, there are the times when we may need to pull all-nighters to meet deadlines, but I hope that such long days are not a regular thing for you. Are those hours typical in your field? Glad you're making moves to protect yourself.
ReplyDelete